I’ve been thinking a lot about the commodification of feminism here recently. I can’t scroll through not a one of my favorite social media sites without being asked to buy a wide assortment of feminist apparel and doolollys. It’s worrisome to me that feminism is turning into a profit-making machine. And I ain’t gonna lie. Some of those tee shirts are real dang cute/funny/sassy. But still. This movement ain’t got one blessed thing to do with what you wear. Which got me thinking about all the best most wonderful things my darling Galentines have given me over the years, and got me to make a Galentine’s gift list. Let’s just assume that coffee, chocolate, and wine are always on the list.
GIFTS TO GIVE YOUR GALENTINES:
This could be the only one and it would be enough. Listening to all the things. When you’re obsessing about taking the GRE, when you’ve just discovered love, when your boss is a mansplainer, when you become vegetarian (Lord knows we can be as hot as a newly converted Holy Roller when we become vegetarian. And help us all if your Galentine gets up and becomes vegan.)
Mix tapes. Or these days, playlists.
We’re real lucky these days, what with Spotify and Apple Music and all. All y’all youngbloods have no clue the work it took to make a perfect mix tape. THERE’S AN ART, PEOPLE! RESPECT!
I have a glitter heart collage in my office that has been in every office I’ve ever had. It’s glorious and it will be with me forever. Make beautiful things for your Galentines that will remind them of the awesomeness that is in their cellss
A bar tab. Or ice cream if you don’t drink.
Remember that time you left your boyfriend and you had to come up with first month’s rent and deposit? And you were real depressed and your Galentine took you out drinking and picked up the tab? Do that sometime. It’s a real good thing to do. Buy her some junk at Target if you can, too. All those doggone things you need when you move add up.
I can attest to this. Getting mail from my Galentines while I’ve been in the wilds of the Mid-Atlantic has been a balm for my heart. It can be something silly or small, but put a stamp on that sucker and send it on.
A running/workout buddy.
Boy howdy. Those ladies that push me to run when I want to quit. Those ladies who have paced me on training runs when my mind was weaker than my body. Mad love.
A text or PM.
When we check in on one another, just to say hello or to send a NSFW meme you couldn’t share on FB because it’s gotten too complicated with all the privacy settings to post.
Fights and forgiveness.
Y’all. This one is hard, but sometimes we’ve gotta duke is out and then make up. A Galentine is no different than any other deep, complicated relationship, and making up, or just moving on, is part of the rich love you share.
Sometimes you’ve just gotta fake a stomach ache or doctor’s appointment and go hang out with your Galentine. This may or may not include: shopping; daydrinking; daydrinking at a movie; turning off your phone and hanging out at the house; helping your Galentine work on her resume; ice cream. There are themes here, pay attention.
Believing in you.
Galentines hold space for one another. It gets hard some days, and your Galentine will remind you that you are one bada$$ woman. This is maybe the most important thing ever. Some days our flames are a little dimmer than others, remind your Galentine that she shines as bright as the sun. That she is a force of nature to be reckoned with. Alice Walker reminds us “Is solace anywhere more comforting than that in the arms of a sister.”