I haven’t gotten around to having kids yet. This seems to be a subject of great concern to everyone from the New York Times to various members of my extended family. I never knew my uterus could draw so much attention, and frankly my spleen is a bit jealous. Here are just a few of the reasons I haven’t had a chance to get pregnant, give birth, and then raise said babies.
I was busy getting the masters degree now required to be competitive in the job market so I could make enough to ever hope to support a family.
My student loans cost the equivalent of rent each month to pay off. Do you think FedLoan has a daycare service I could use? Could I trade them my first born in exchange for my student debt?
I was working full time at an entry-level position to “get my foot in the door” and work my way up the ladder.
I had this strange idea that I was valuable as a human being and not just a temporary host for babies.
It didn’t occur to me that people I barely knew would be so interested in what my womb was or wasn’t doing.
I’m reluctant to bring children into a world that might not have clean air and water for them.
The current administration is giving me mixed messages. It doesn’t like reproductive care for women, presenting breastfeeding as a reasonable choice, or bodily autonomy at all. I must admit, I’m reluctant to have a baby until we have more reasonable leaders.
I’m not super thrilled about going into even more debt just to pay the medical bills for me and my brand new child.
I would have to sell my cats to pay for the first months’ diapers.
I’m not in a place where I can give a child the love, attention, and nurturing it needs on a full-time basis. Sorry if that interferes with your plans for my vagina.
My Mirena is good for 5-7 years, and it seems like a waste of a perfectly good IUD to pull it out after one year.
I’d really like be able to finish a single book of crossword puzzles before I sign on to care for an entire human for the first 18 years of its existence.
Where would I even put a kid? Dresser drawers are frowned upon now, right?
Call it selfish, but I’d really like to travel and enjoy time with my partner before we decide to add to our family.
I forget to feed the cats unless they yell at me. This bodes ill for tiny humans.
I’m not ready to explain to friends and family that, no, they really can’t hold my newborn until they get their pertussis vaccine.
I’m even less ready to explain that I’m not raising that kid in [insert nosey relative]’s chosen religion, or any religion.
Look, really you’re not going to like any of the choices I make if I do get pregnant, so maybe you want to rethink this whole thing. I mean it – cloth diapers, public breastfeeding, ALL the vaccines, gender neutral toys, every horrible thing you heard about from FOX News, I’m doing it.